Texas Hold'em: Tournaments, Cash Games and Embarrassing Social Gas by Tony Korfman ... Hold'em Investments

Excerpt

Everyone plays poker. Men, women, gays, lesbians. Those who want to be gay, those who want to be lesbian. Those who don't know they're gay, those who don't know they're lesbian. Black, white, Asian. Those who want to be black, those who want to be white - you get the picture? Everyone plays poker. The tired, the poor, the huddled masses. The unhappy, the slow, the sad, the miserable. Those who drive too fast, too slow, too erratic and those who never turn their blinkers off. Those who never return phone calls, who have bad penmanship, who have bad breath, who have shortness of breath, who have no breath at all. Those who never brush, never bathe, never wash, never comb, never nod, never wink, never laugh, never hug, never care. In other words, any dysfunctional slob who can sit in a chair and wear sunglasses or earphones and never wear after-shave, after-bath or after-birth cologne. Everyone plays f****n' poker. My mother plays it. She's 88. My grandson plays it. He's 12. Even Doyle Brunson plays it. Do I make myself clear? Everyone plays f****n' poker. Some poker games are more popular then others. When I was a kid we use to play a game called "Tripoly". The family would gather around the kitchen table and we would play. Some money was involved. Not a lot. We didn't have a lot. But it was a form of poker. Poker is definitely here to stay. Hold'em has evolved to be the game of choice. It's exciting, fun to watch, easy to learn and takes forever to master. Someday there will be the Masters of Hold'em. The best of the best will come together, get a free buffet, have back massages available and - wait a minute. We already have that. It's called the World Series of Poker. But let's go farther. Let's go where no man has gone before. Let's have an invitation only Masters tournament with a $100,000 entry fee. We will limit the entries to 100 of the best players and they have to live together in a Big Brother house with 100 cameras. Whenever they are eliminated from the tournament, they evicted from the house and shrouded. And the people left in house will vote on whether or not they should first be castrated. Or worse - cremated. It will pay to get along. I wonder how Phil Hellmuth Jr. or Mike "The Mouth" would fare. And maybe a gay version for gay poker players. Maybe that would be called Really Really Big Brother. These shows would be reality TV at its best. Coming to your living room soon ... Everyone plays f****n' poker. Everyone. What a country. What a great f****n' country.


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Excerpt Everyone plays poker. Men, women, gays, lesbians. Those who want to be gay, those who want to be lesbian. Those who don't know they're gay, those who don't know they're lesbian. Black, white, Asian. Those who want to be black, those who want to be white - you get the picture? Everyone plays poker. The tired, the poor, the huddled masses. The unhappy, the slow, the sad, the miserable. Those who drive too fast, too slow, too erratic and those who never turn their blinkers off. Those who never return phone calls, who have bad penmanship, who have bad breath, who have shortness of breath, who have no breath at all. Those who never brush, never bathe, never wash, never comb, never nod, never wink, never laugh, never hug, never care. In other words, any dysfunctional slob who can sit in a chair and wear sunglasses or earphones and never wear after-shave, after-bath or after-birth cologne. Everyone plays f**n' poker. My mother plays it. She's 88. My grandson plays it. He's 12. Even Doyle Brunson plays it. Do I make myself clear? Everyone plays fn' poker. Some poker games are more popular then others. When I was a kid we use to play a game called "Tripoly". The family would gather around the kitchen table and we would play. Some money was involved. Not a lot. We didn't have a lot. But it was a form of poker. Poker is definitely here to stay. Hold'em has evolved to be the game of choice. It's exciting, fun to watch, easy to learn and takes forever to master. Someday there will be the Masters of Hold'em. The best of the best will come together, get a free buffet, have back massages available and - wait a minute. We already have that. It's called the World Series of Poker. But let's go farther. Let's go where no man has gone before. Let's have an invitation only Masters tournament with a $100,000 entry fee. We will limit the entries to 100 of the best players and they have to live together in a Big Brother house with 100 cameras. Whenever they are eliminated from the tournament, they evicted from the house and shrouded. And the people left in house will vote on whether or not they should first be castrated. Or worse - cremated. It will pay to get along. I wonder how Phil Hellmuth Jr. or Mike "The Mouth" would fare. And maybe a gay version for gay poker players. Maybe that would be called Really Really Big Brother. These shows would be reality TV at its best. Coming to your living room soon ... Everyone plays fn' poker. Everyone. What a country. What a great f**n' country.