Cancer Etiquette
Rosanne Kalick
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Price: $19.95 US $29.95 CAN
160 pages | ISBN: 0-87460-450-8
Have you ever been at a loss for words when a friend or colleague or a loved one has been given a diagnosis of cancer? Have you ever wanted to do something "nice" for a person who is being treated for cancer and not known exactly what would be appropriate?
This book, Cancer Etiquette, by a cancer survivor, contains myriad suggestions for saying and acting on the most helpful, compassionate, and appropriate responses, and explains why they are. The many true stories and anecdotes of people hurt by the wrong words or actions are fascinating to read, if only to enable us to know that not all of even well-meaning comments are received by cancer patients the way one intended them to be. The author does not flinch from critiquing doctors as well, who may be clumsy or thoughtless in their own handling of patients stricken with cancer.
Rosanne Kalick's valuable contributions are drawn from her personal experiences dealing with cancer not once, but twice. This unique position empowered her to conduct intense research, personal interviews, and to use letters and emails from cancer sufferers all over the world.
Although cancer has changed the author's life, it has not changed who she is. While she no longer jogs (she had completed three New York City Marathons), she is an avid walker. A fishing rod, a lake, and a batch of worms provides hours of quiet pleasure for her. Every year she is the "fishing lady" at her retreat, where she makes fishing poles for the children and introduces them to the joys of fishing.
She is particularly gifted in her ability to communicate, having been a Professor and Chairperson of the Library and Learning Resource Center at Westchester Community College in New York. She ultimately received the State University Chancellor's Award for Excellence in Librarianship.
She adores her five grandchildren, and even through cancer anxiety is still a real part of her world, she nevertheless barrels past it and gets on with enjoying a busy, fruitful life.
"I believe Cancer Etiquette can be very helpful guide for friends and family members who have the desire to be helpful to one another in time of crisis. Loving families will become better at what they are doing. I also suggest that people with cancer read it so they better understand those who speak to them and can deal with their feelings of 'woundedness'. When we truly share the experience, we take away some of the disease with each visit. We cannot cure our loved ones. But we can help them to heal. What we say to someone with cancer is very meaningful, but listening to what they have to say may be even more important. I agree with the goal of this book. Let it coach you to become a more caring human being."
- Bernie Siegel, M.D., author of Love, Medicine & Miracles, How to Live Between Office Visits, and Help Me to Heal
"In the modern era of scientific progress and busy humdrum of life, we often fail to communicate love and empathy to the very people we care about when they are stricken with the diagnosis of cancer. We often don't know what to say and often say things we don't mean. This book is deeply moving, beautifully written, and most inspiring. It is a must read not only for friends and families caring for a personal afflicted with cancer, but also for the physician and allied health workers providing care for cancer patients. When I reached the last page my heart was filled with joy and gratitude for this quiet person in whose care I have been involved in over the years!"
- Sundar Jagannath, M.D. Chief, Multiple Myeloma and Blood and Bone Marrow Transplantation Program, St.Vincent's Comprehensive Cancer Center, New York, NY
